2cool-2care

Shit

2011-02-22T12:40:00.001-08:00

Life's good, been so long since I posted. In the library doing hw, busy day.

Did I say life is perfect?????

Peace kids.

So over this blog

2010-10-22T00:48:00.000-07:00

Can't believe I'm posting again. I haven't logged on in a long time, I still read others blogs but just don't feel like posting I guess. Anyways life has definately changed over the past few months...

I can honestly say I am the happiest I have been in a long time and perhaps in my whole life.

I moved out, somehow through a good friend landed a job, doing well in school and partying up every weekend. Feels like I never sleep but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make.

Feels good to be independent, life is good. But it will only get better, seriously I would change nothing other than my undocumented status right now. Life feels perfect, my friends are amazing and I just enjoy every second I am blessed to be on this earth. I was so stressed last year taking on so much responsibility and living at home in a bad family situation that this semester I feel so free. I no longer think about being undocumented rather accept it and forget about it, I will deal with it when it needs to be dealt with but for now I live, I rejoyce in the beauty of life.

Life is beautiful people.

Peace kids.

Tired

2010-02-11T20:20:00.000-08:00

Of always trying, of never giving up. No one knows how I feel everyone thinks I got all I need. Everyone thinks I am always happy and honestly it's getting harder to keep hiding my secret. Can I just tell the world I'm undocumented? Oh how I wish I could... Maybe one day I will, maybe soon.

I really hope my parents aren't serious about getting this whole divorce thing. I can't blame them though there is so much stress in our house it might be better for them to go their separate ways. As long as their happy right?

Anyways I am spent, this week was as mentally draining as any week could possibly be. Going to relax the next two days have some much needed fun and then getting back to seriousness for the next few weeks.

Peace out kiddos

I need

2010-01-28T18:46:00.000-08:00

sleeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Damn I just want some freaking sleep. Too many things going on I don't get a chance to sleep!

organizing events, dealing with club stuff, school being ridiculous especially organic chem.

But most importantly I though of a great idea that could change thing for the DREAM ACT if I can bring this out on a national scale.

Lets see if I can pull this off, I am kinda in over my head on this.

I'm trapped

2010-01-18T02:22:00.000-08:00

I feel trapped.....

Why? what did I do? I have such a bright future but it doesn't even matter to them....

I am so much stronger because of the life I have had to live due to being undocumented but It's hard always lying to everyone I know. I wish I could just tell everyone when they ask all the questions. Why don't you drive? Why don't you get financial aid? etc...

Everyone around me knows me as the guy who let's nothing get to him.... When they see shit happening to me and it doesn't phase me and they see me just laugh it off they think I am this strong, secure, worry-free person. In reality none of the shit that people see happen to me affects me because it is nothing compared to this burden I carry. Being undocumented I feel trapped, the only way to live a normal teenage life is to try and ignore it as best I can.

I wish, I just wish I could tell everyone. I would feel so relieved, but I can't I have to protect my family. I am stuck in between choosing what is best for me, letting go of this burden and choosing what is best for my family, keeping this a secret.

I have so many plans for my future, but... but I can't... I can't do anything, I am trapped.

I hate seeing my dad so stressed everyday because we have no money. I hate seeing my mom squander her life away and not really be truly happy. I hate seeing my brother have to go through everything that I went through at his age. I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! I can't freaking stand this! It is not fair....

But at the same time, how selfish must I sound huh? I complain about all of this all the meanwhile the people in Haiti are suffering things infinitely times worse. How do I balance this feeling of being trapped, this feeling of unfairness and the feeling of being blessed in comparison to those in Haiti or in worse situations than me? How do I balance my natural optimistic attitude with my reality? How do I balance being a kid and at the same time having this constant ghost lurking in the back of my mind?

Yes, I am at a disadvantage when compared to some, but I am so much more fortunate than others. I am undocumented, and I go through moments of weakness such as this one where I question the fairness in my life, where I feel trapped. I am undocumented yet I am happier than so many people I see who have the world at their fingertips but are to scared to go after it. I don't understand this world... I never will..

Tough times don't last but tough people do.

Cornell, Dartmouth, Tufts, Amherst

2009-12-31T00:34:00.000-08:00

Those are the Universities I will be applying to for fall 2010 transfer! Well at least the ones in the US. Very tuff schools to get into but worth a shot. I most likely will just go to another country, however if the DREAM ACT passes I might stay here in the US and go to which ever one I get accepted into.

Pretty much have looked at every single Canadian University that exists. My list is narrowed down to my top seven or eight choices, realistically I will only be able to apply to a few of them so I have to pick wisely. After I settle that I will look at some more UK and Australian schools and narrow those down as well. Should be abusy winter break. I have to admit winter break has been fun, hanging out with some of my best friends just about every day is always fun. Everyday once we get home though late at night its time for business and we get right down to this University research we need to finish up. Deadlines are coming up soon so I need to hurry!

For my next post I have a brilliant idea! Not really, but play along. Everyone always tends to forget some of the good times shared with other people. So I want to make a post headlining my top moments/experiences of 2009! That way they are on here forever and I can reminisce year later on them. Otherwise I might forget some of those moments, and truly a reason we live is to create memories. So hopefully I follow through and have my next post be a top 2009 moments.

Also I just thought of this right now, maybe as a new years resolution I should keep something where I write down everyday in 2010 that I had a really good day and a little brief summary of what I did that day. By the end of the year I should have my top days of the year on there and I can always keep that for me so I wont forget those moments and experiences.

Maybe, kind of wishful thinking on my part that I will actually do all that but we will see. I'l try!

Anyways peace kiddos
living it

sweeet pooooopers

2009-12-25T00:05:00.000-08:00

Somehow managed to pull off some A's in some classes I really was not sure I was going to be able to heading into the final week. But I did just had to ace those finals and somehow I did it! GPA in the mid 3.7's now though(and A- is a 3.7) my GPA is still more than a A- but need to get it closer to that 4.0 I had earlier.

Its Christmas eve and I am sitting in my living room writing on my blog... Family doesn't really celebrate holidays, Christmas is no exception. I have got to change that when I get older, my family will celebrate things for sure.

On another note, my winter break has basically consisted of three things:

1)Hanging out with friends
2)Researching information for Universities in Canada/Australia/UK to transfer too.. I am about 80percent done with the list of Canadian schools, I have probably looked at over 50schools total this break. Most of them end up being no good because what I look for initially is cost, then I look for scholarships and how much they are worth and if I qualify for them(which I usually don't because I am an International transfer student), after that I look for anything else important regarding my special situation. So far I have a list of about 3 or maybe 4 schools that I might have shot at going to if I win the scholarships. Wish me luck!
3)Watching movies(this usually happens after I did number one and number two for most of the day and I need a break from number two because sometimes it gets frustrating that just about every school ends up not being a possibility).

Efffffffff this anyways Ima go back to doing number 3 on the list. Night!

peace kiddos.

Oh crap

2009-12-05T18:20:00.000-08:00

school has been killer. But I think I got through, hopefully I A'ced those tests we will see next week what the result was. 2 more weeks or no sleep but for now its time to enjoy the weekend and go crazy! Have not partied in a while and it feels good to do so again.

After this we are going to buckle down and get ready for the final stretch of this semester, the final stretch of non stop studying, the final stretch of all-nighters, the final stretch of all the final stretches. Definitely excited!

Tuesday there is a DREAM ACT event bring held at my school with around 100 hundred students attending. The faculty is organizing this within the social work department! I take credit along with a few other of inspiring one of the faculty to make this event happen. She has been fantastic, and really enthusiastic about everything taking initiative herself which has really motivated me personally to know that my story along with a few others were able to make her put such effort into this cause when she herself has nothing to gain from this really helps our motivation as students to keep fighting. I will be part of the event speaking in front of everyone about my situation along with a variety of other people headlining the agenda for this event.

I am not worried really it should all turn out fine. Yesterday I participated at my schools public speaking competition. I did it mainly for the extra credit but I must say it was an amazing experience. I learned a great deal seeing others speak and boosted my confidence speaking in front of people. I actually somehow managed to make it to the final round. I felt I had a shot at winning but unfortunately I wasn't able to pull it off. Still to make it to the final round that consisted of the top six speakers was quite an achievement considering it was my first time participating in a public speaking competition and a very hard format which is impromptu speaking. I believe that being president of a club was a sort of advantage for me because I got exposure to speaking in public something many people fear or at least have a strong anxiety towards.

I might join the speech and debate team next semester, It will definately look good on resume's and things of that sort and I have always in a way enjoyed public speaking. Thank god I am not a shy person.

Anyways I will leave you guys alone now, go and have fun enjoy life who knows when its your last day!

Don't live in a "what if" world. Just Do it! Experience everything you can!

To Everyone;

2009-11-27T23:35:00.000-08:00

Stop pretending to be happy, and actually be happy!

Being happy is a choice remember tha people!
;P

shit

2009-11-27T23:13:00.000-08:00

I always forget about this thing!

I always see random things and I say oh I am going to write about that on my blog! And of course I forget five minutes later.

Pretty much just been going about my life, I have not been going out and partying as much lately. Sometimes the party scene just seems a bit fake to me, do you guys know what I mean? I'm not going to lie I have lot's of fun when I go out and party but it's just lately felt unnecessary. I have to much to worry about, trying to get scholarships to pay for school, trying to research about schools outside of the U.S. to apply to for next year so I can leave this place. Keeping my grades up, and organizing my club in events and things of that nature in support of the DREAM ACT.

And now I have finals coming up soon so I will pretty much have no life for the next three weeks. Seriously finals is the time when I get on average three hours of sleep at night, I think I over study but I feel I need to do that to feel okay about myself if I don't get the grade I want. This semester I have definitely slacked off getting sidetrack with other things so I really need to buckle down during finals.

I have a paper I am writing on health care reform here in the U.S. and it just brings to light so many inadequacies about this country. It just makes me think why have I wanted to stay in this country for so long? I mean for the longest time I would feel that having less opportunities and everything that goes along with being undocumented is worth it as long as I get to stay here in the U.S. I believe it's because the people and relationships I made here that made me feel weirdly attached to this country. However now that I have matured some I am able to see that honestly most of the friends and relationships you make through your life with people are forgotten about and it is only really a select few who are going to stay there and maintain that long lasting connection with you. How it is determined who stays in your life and who leaves is a mystery. Maybe now that I have started to reflect on this is why I have felt a sort of animosity towards the party scene, it feels fake. I won't ever talk to most of the people I see at parties ever again and the ones that I will it will only be till we leave college and then it's over. Il never see them again, its only the people I am really close with that will really be there till the end. I am thankful to have the best friend anyone could ever ask for, seriously were like brothers and some other really really good friends that will be there till the end, but even if I move away they will still be there because that's who they are. While the people I was scared to leave, I will eventually leave anyways.

Everything I just said probably makes absolutely no sense so you can completely disregard my attempt to sound philosophically intelligent. I really am just a real weirdo. I mean seriously why the hell am I even writing here, it's not like anyone is going to read it right? Sometimes we do things for no reason what so ever it baffles me, why is this?

Anyways I am going to spare you guys any more misery and just stop talking, before you leave though check this guy out, I found this hilarious yet very educational.

Biggest Decision of my life

2009-11-03T16:06:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, yesterday I think I finally decided on my future.

Pretty much I have decided that if the DREAM ACT doesn't pass by the end of next semester(so basically summer) then I am heading back to Mexico for a year, getting a student Visa going to Canada and finishing my studies there. Who knows maybe I will love Canada and just stay there the rest of my life or maybe I will decide to come back to the U.S for Medical Schools or to practice.

This is a huge step in my life, It's going to drastically change everything. For the longest time I have thought about just waiting it out here and that eventually something will pass but I am done with that now, I am so sick of not being able to do anything in this country.

Funny thing is though that even with all these limitations that are put on me here in this country I love my life, I enjoy my life so much more than alot of these people around me it makes me sad to see all these people not taking advantage of their opportunities and living life to the fullest you know?

Previously I've been scared of going off to someplace where I don't know anyone, and most of all leaving my close friends behind. They have been through so much with me it's ridiculous. But I am not scared anymore, I will miss them but like the saying goes "one's gotta do what one's gotta do". I have so much to live and I can't keep myself from at least giving myself the chance to live. There are so many things I want to do; study abroad, travel, go to med-school, go to a club, drive, not be scared of getting deported, etc. It's time to experience all of these things.

DREAM ACT it's this summer or I'm gone.

TO THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: IF THE DREAM ACT DOES NOT PASS BY NEXT SUMMER I FEEL VERY SORRY FOR YOU BECAUSE THAT MEANS YOU JUST LOST A GREAT TALENT!

-i will leave you guys with a very inspirational song, at least to me that is-

peace kids, live life.

halloween

2009-11-01T23:26:00.000-08:00

Weekend was amazing, absolutely super duper fantastically awesome.

Thinking of changing major from Bio to psych and still doing pre-med, been thinking of pediatric oncology as of lately.

Was planning on posting more but I am very sleepy so I changed my mind.

Peace peeps

I am still alive

2009-10-12T17:02:00.000-07:00

In case any of you were wondering if I was still alive AI would like to inform you guys that unfortunately for these stupid gringos I am still kicking and screaming and owning all these lil rich kids in school and life!

Anyways its been over since I last blogged, just have had absolutely no time. School is dumb..... I don't think I will pull of the 4.0 this semester unfortunately just trying to stay in the 3.7-3.8 range most likely.

As far as life, I have been single for almost 2 months now! I must admit I am very proud of myself, excluding the occasional girl on a drunk night here and there I have had no girls in my life for about two months! Very stoked I must say so myself, single life is the way to be. No drama worries no nothing, just chill and relaxing. Besides I'm way to busy for a girl, I'm sure at some point I will change my mind but for now its going good.

Life is pretty awesome, I am president of this club for a AB-540 students and Dream Act supporters and it has gotten to me lately its alot of work running an organization. Thankfully the group is pretty big now but still exhaughsting.

On another note I am currently voluneteering at the school clinic I get to take patients in and check blood pressure ask for their history and just do generic stuff before handing them off to the doctors. Pretty interseting its a good experience hoping to learn much more in the upcoming months volunteering there.

Well I will try to update more often! I have said this plenty of times and I haven't followed through so Il probably flake again cuz Im 2 cool 2 care right??? haha laters peeps

peace

BAM!!!

2009-08-28T14:22:00.000-07:00

Damn...

This whole commuting thig is wierd... I kind of feel homeless, its just an overall wierd feeling. Seriously In the past week I have slept in my own house like once I think. I have just been crashing at friends houses this whole first week of school. The bus ride is like 3 hours back to my house from school so I just really don't feel like it most days. School is going to most definately be hard this semester, chemistry already has me pooping my pants! No joke! My teacher kind of sucks :/

The rest of my classes are though ones but Il manage to pull off the A I'm pretty sure just worried about chemistry right now, the stuck up nerdy kid in me tells me I'll get the A but then the realistic normal guy in me think well more than half my class is pre-med so they all want A's so chances are I won't. But DGAF I'll get the A I have to.

I signed up for this shadowing program at my school in the school clinic hopefully I get in! It be pretty cool! Anyways g2g peace

school

2009-08-19T21:28:00.000-07:00

starts next monday! Summer has been pretty darn amazing getting myself into as much shit as I could have possibly imagined but I have managed to come out of summer intact and with the same carefree attitude of my usual self. This attitude will no doubt come in handy as I prepare to embark on a dangerous phase in my life called sophmore year of college.

Many great experiences will no doubt occur accompanied by its fair share of acts of stupidity. Surprisingly I am looking forward to it, summer is always my favorite time but I want to get back in the classroom and show all those dumb anti-immigrant americans wrong. I could fall flat on my face though so maybe I should just stop talking now. As a matter of fact I think I will(mostly because I hafta take a massive dump but nevermind that). Peace fools

Once schools starts I'l probably get back to the blogging so stay tuned! If anyone is reading this.

Peace fools

pretty much

2009-07-14T23:48:00.001-07:00

have left the blogging life for a while now..
Decided to get back on today thou.

So I'm kinda behind like two months, gots some catching up to do. First of all I must say that life has pretty much owned as of late. Summer has been pretty bomb so far.

Anyways girl wise, Once summer started I started seeing a girl, the ex got jealous cried to me and what not and we got back together, that lasted not too long and I broke it off after a few weeks. Now I'm back to seeing the other girl again, however my problem lies in the fact that I don't really like this girl, she is really cool and cute and all that but I like another girl who I believe likes me but if we got together would cause tons of drama within a circle of friends we have. However knowing me IL probably still go for it, you only live once and this girl is worth I think :P

Anyways on the whole life perspective. My family has gone broke this summer, the economy sucks and I will be forced to live at home because we cant afford to pay the dorms anymore. This is going to be a drag because although school is only like a thirty minute drive away I due to being undocumented can not drive. The bus and train are some options I have a friend who goes to CSUN who lives by me so maybe he can give me rides every now and then. I just really do not want to go on the bus its a 3 hour bus ride on average. This is definitely going to be an interesting semester. Just gotta keep pushing through getting those straight A's and hopefully the DREAM ACT passes and it will all get easier right????

Anyways that's all for now, I have shit in my life but honestly Id say with all my shit I am probably still happier than 99percent of all people, so many people are miserable and stuff its kind of sad. I think being in the situation I am has kind of made me be aware of the fact that I can't give my self excuses to not live life, at the end of the day one has got to make life worth it.I can honestly say right now my life is amazing to think how amazing it would be if I were actually legal, dang Id be living the dream life.

Anyways peace homiez!
:)

Downnnn

2009-05-07T15:40:00.000-07:00

in da dumps....

Weird.. Kind of missing the ex, and idk just not a good overall mood today.

I'm in a good mood like 99% of the time so this is poopy!
Well that's been mostly just the last two days, because 5 De mayo was pretty bomb!!! I only remember like half the stuff that happened that night, we went to a party and I ended up getting pretty darn wasted, I haven't drank that much in a long time. I think me and this one girl kissed and stuff for a while but I can't really remember what went down. I do remember going to Denny's afterwards and it was all pretty fun. Apparently I did some very funny things which I don't remember so we will just leave it at that. All that was fun but maybe not the smartest of things... I had a final the morning after which I was not very prepared for, my plan was to wake up early in the morning to study but I must have ignored my alarm, I mean i got back home around 5ish and my alarm was set for 8am to give me time to study, so I can see how I would sleep through it. Thankfully a friend of mine called me at 10:30 and my final was at 11 so I was able to take the final but I sucked!!!!!!!! I was actually still drunk when I took it so yeah that was a disaster.. I had a solid A going into the final so hopefully I did enough to maintain it. I guess we will see.

the night b4 me and some ppl streaked across our campus!! It was hilarious, that whole night was pretty fun as well :)

Anyways I'm getting bored writing this so peace fools!!

karaoke time!! and CNN video!!

2009-04-26T23:45:00.000-07:00

This past week has been quite interesting.

Last weekend I went to the beach with the medical frat at my school and we helped cleap up the bay for a few hours which actually was really fun. Then went to lunch and the people I was with are freaking hilarious! You would expect pre-meds to be geeks and nerd but surprisingly that's not the case within this frat really. However the burgers we had for lunch were absolutely amazing! Aftewards we hung out at the beach, played volleyball totally owned! I get way to competitive, I am so glad that I am naturally good at sports it's great great. Then there was a bonfire and we played some games and then just talked ate marsh mellows and hot dogs, lets just say it was a really good experience I definitely feel like I know these people alot better after this and actually made some friends. It was a great day.

This weekend was the NFL draft! which is basically like Christmas for me. I am the biggest sports fan you will come across, I can tell you just about anything about sports I'm kind of ridiculous. Anyways, the Vikings my favorite team had a good draft which made me quite happy, afterwards that night was an amazing night as well. It's weird I haven't drunken in over a month now however I've actually had more fun. Weird I'm not going to lie I've had some pretty memorable nights getting drunk but I guess I just like the simplicity of just hanging out no alcohol and stuff ya know? Having said all that I think I'll get drunk again pretty soon probably next weekend :P
Okay getting sidetracked, back to this weekend. Basically that night I was talking to you guys about was when initiation for the medical fraternity I've talked to you about took place. It was quite fun, afterwards alot of us headed of too bowling which was intense, basically I sucked! Bowling is one of the few sports I am quite bad at(others include pool, and anything having to do with water). So this was fun but then some of us decided to head over to this karaoke place nearby. I had never been there, actually most of us had never been there but it was a great experience. We stayed there till three in the morning singing our asses off. It was definitely a great night, the girls were pretty amazing at singing. Naturally I was the worst singer, however I do believe I put the most emotion into my singing so it balanced out :P
The drive home was fun, then got home and pretty much passed out I was hella tired!

On about hours sleep for like the tenth day in a row I woke up the next morning and got ready to go to a Kaiser hospital. Me and some fratmates had planned this tour to the hospital. The ride was hella fun played catchphrase the whole way! amazing game. The tour was honestly eye-opening. It really replenished my feelings towards pursuing a career in medicine. The doctors loved their jobs we had a chance to talk with two ER doctors and an anesthesiologist, as well as the head of the hospital who is actually the one that gave us the tour I can't remember what his specialty is called but he talked about it and it seems really interesting its a long ass word so yeah Ill get to you guys on that one. However we got to go into an operating room, and the emergency room, and a pregnancy delivery room, it was all great. I loved it, very glad I went. Afterwards we headed over to this burger place I forget what its called but it was pretty good and played catchphrase while eating, again that game is intense! Then got back home took a nap and worked on some homework and now just straight chilling.

This must be one of my longest posts so far. I actually have more to say too! I know you guys don't care but I'm going to say a few quick things

me and some friends were thinking about getting a house for next semester, however we took a tour and everything and it seems great its super close to school walking distance like a minute walking which is great cuz I cant drive. BUT, they are going to do background checks on us b4 they give it to us. Simply put I can't live there, I don't have a social security number which they need for it so yeah I'm screwed. I'll just live in the dorms which is fine but I kind of wanted to still live with my current roommate we get along really well and he is going into the house so yeah it sucks... there are ways to get around it but most likely some people maybe the people I would live with in the house would find out about my situation so Ill just play it safe and live in the dorms.

On another note me and my roommate kind of have grown a little apart these past 2-3 weeks. We have both had stuff to do with other friends on the weekends and during the week have never really been home at the same time except to sleep really, its weird and we both are out alot so yeah, not a good thing but yeah just a thought.

Me and the ex were also texting alittle while and she told how she has cryed over me recently... I feel bad but then again it was kind of her breaking up with me or a mutual thing so not really my fault, honestly I miss her a hell of a lot. I think about her often but I haven't cryed and we broke up like a month ago... It's weird I haven't cryed In a really long time I've been bottling up everything for a really long time now I think one of these days I'm going to just break and it's all going to come out but for now I'm good anyways I don't cry that's for little girls right???
haha jk jk I don't see crying as a bad thing however I feel like I shouldn't makes me feel weak so I just don't anyways I just want the DREAM ACT to pass damn it!!!!!!

Watch this video please!!!!! Come on DREAMers stay it!!!

slumber party

2009-04-17T15:41:00.000-07:00

last night was kinda whack, see I'm in a funk right now. I don't know how else to describe it other than it just freaking sucks!

Usually I get along with everyone but lately just got soo much on my mind that at time I just don't feel like doing or trying to get along with anyone...

whatever DGAF gonna get over this shit tonight.

these girls I know are throwing a slumber party tonight should be pretty fun as long as I get outta this stupid funk or whatever this is.

On another note being illegal sucks major, some friends are talking about going down to Tijuana and stuff but I gotta get avoid that at all costs. Anyways this shit happens all the time and I'm sick of it! COME ON DREAM ACT I NEEEEEEED YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

peace foooools.

Doctors Diaries

2009-04-11T16:57:00.000-07:00

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/programs/ht/tm/3608.html?site=58&pl=qt&rate=hi&ch=1

soooooo coooool, im such a nerd :P

basically

2009-04-10T16:57:00.000-07:00

My life is hella wierd...

I haven't written in quite a while, honestly I've just been to lazy. Yeah I suck whatever.

So me and the girl broke up a week ago, this time for real no getting back together anytime soon. I'm taking it pretty well no crying or anything but god damn it I love her! Anyways it is really for the best, Im actually kind of happy, however this would be alot easier if she wasn't so freaking hot! Since then we've hooked up a few times and its been like the most intense we have ever been. Yeah, were bad kids broke into ma old house and no one lives there yet its completely empty cuz no one has bought it yet and basically it's just been freaking amazing hook-ups. Anyways she makes it seem like she is fine but i know her pretty well and I know Im doing a little better than she is but yeah basically we still love eachother but due to our circumstances its better if we aren't together right now or for quite a while. However it doesn't mean we can't hook-up so yeah.

I'm on spring break right now, thanks god I needed it soooooooo bad I was hella burnt out from school(notice im using hella alot now a days, my roomate is from the bay area and it's kinda stuck on me now).

At least I got good news that aced my bio midterm, I got what i think is a B in the chem midterm. So Bio good, chem not so good but whatever I was burnt out i just need a break. Not going to lie the friday night a got out for spring break was sick!!!! I got hella wasted! Dennys at like 3 in the morning and jacuzzi at like 5! Now I am back home just doing ma thing chillen with the homiez and whatnot.

I have more stuff to write about but I'm hungry so I'l just post later if I'm not to lazy.

Peace

D-DAY!!!!

2009-03-26T10:40:00.000-07:00

Today the DREAM ACT gets introduced!! I have already called in to my senators urging them to support and co-sponsor the DREAM ACT there is a massive nation wide call-in along with a petition that I have already signed!

Peace!

Why?

2009-03-24T19:17:00.000-07:00

Why must everything be so hard, seriously I hate being illegal. It's ridiculous how many things I can't do just because of it. A friend of mine died last week :( I want to go to the funeral but not sure I can it's far and I can't drive for obvious reasons. I'll figure it out hopefully. So today has been though dealing with that, and having to lie to some people to keep my legal situation hidden kind of sucks, I hate lying but I need to in order to protect myself. School is going pretty good just at about the halfway point, spring break in two weeks! YAY! I need a break. About to leave for the gym, Il start writing a little more often pretty soon I promise! Peace

Update

2009-03-10T22:40:00.001-07:00

Not that anyone cares...

But still gonnna update! So last week was busy once again, attended a pre-health conference and have made some pretty good connections around the school that will help me in my career goal.

Also I broke up with my girlfriend, I noticed stuff was going wrong and asked her if she was thinking about breaing up with me. She said that she was, and then we talked and I broke up with her and then she calls me 20minutes later saying she's going to change and kind of begging me to give her another chance... I did... hopefully it's not a bad move but we will see.

Also her mom officially hates me, she found out about some stuff about me and now she would kill me if she could, things definetely not looking good on that aspect.

Now lets see aced my psych test 98% bitches!!!! Also I knew me and my roomate had alot in common but this week made me realize that we are crazy alike, maybe we were separated at birth or something, he's asian I'm mexican so I highly doubt it but a never kno right?

Have 2nd highest grade in chem lab which is good cuz there is only 2 A's in the class. Yes I'm a nerd whatever, it feels like I kno tons of people now it's wierd. There are thirty thousand plus students at my school but I am pretty much with the same people in most of my classes. I actually enjoy going to class the studying and the homework is what I dread. Mostly the homework though because I actually like taking test and studying obviously gets me prepared so even though studying in itself isn't particularily my favorite thing to do It's bearable(except for the 7,8,9,10+ study hour days). Homework on the other hand is usually pointless and time consuming and just plain stupid.

So thats that... and there you have it...

Peace

Boozing through the decades

2009-03-01T09:30:00.000-08:00

Last night was so fucking crazy.. Damn seriously me and my roomate hit up a party that was named "boozing through the decades". That was hella cool for sure but the cops came so we had bail. But me and my roomate weren't done yet. We hit up another party and tons of people from the previous party hit that one up and no joke it was a sick ass party!

Seriously a night to remember, you know those nights that you will never forget for the rest of your life? this was one of them, I got soooooo many fucking numbers a chick grinding on me like crazy ma roomate hooked up with this chick, man it was tight. I have a girlfriend so I didn't do any shit with anyone but man I so coulda fucked some bitches last night.

Man I love college...

sweet potato esparragatious

2009-02-26T20:21:00.001-08:00

I had a psych,bio,chem test this past week and half so been pretty busy.

Got a C in chem test... Stupid I could have aced it but didn't study enough which sucks, oh well do better next time for sure...

Got a B in bio test... Stupid studyied like a mo fo and didn't get the A...

Got an A in psych test.. Super easy, and won two bucks in the process, two of my friends thought they would beat me so they bet on it and I won so now I am a whole 2 dollars richer!

So yeah just came home for the weekend kind of nice, my dog went all crazy when she saw me, i think she missed me. Just chillen at home right now finally have some time to myself maybe fill out some scholarship apps soon and I have some homework and a test on monday oh and a quiz online due sunday, so on second thought maybe I don't really have that much time to myself. On another note I am really liking college this semester although it is a whole heck of a lot harder I have met tons of people so it's kind of nice knowing your classmates and whatnot. I met a really cool counselor she told me that maybe I can get into med-school if I go through a NAVY program or something but thats a maybe I need to check that out. Also going to try and reach out to some local highschool kids that are undocumented and help them get into college maybe serve as a sort of mentor/resource. Thats about all thats popping into ma mind right now. So I will see you guys later!

Peace!!

Poooop

2009-02-21T11:34:00.000-08:00

Well, I haven't posted in a while again. School got a bit hectic with a bunch of tests all in the same week or two, it's cool though after this Tuesday I shouldn't have any test for a while.

Been busy going to school clubs too, I think I might be in too many...

Hmm... Well to recap valentines spent with the gf was pretty nice although ever since it seems like she hates me, can't do anything right.

Good news is that I got my A- changed to an A from last semester so I have the 4.0! :P

Didn't make the soccer team, which really is a good thing cuz I wouldn't have time for it.

And that's that off to this frat barbecue, hopefully all goes well!

Peace

its been a while

2009-02-06T23:44:00.000-08:00

Haven't written here in a few days now. Haven't had much free time and the few I do I choose to spend it with friends so sorry to my oh soooooo many readers :P

Well this past week was what I would call busy, and it's only going to get even more busy from now on, Yay! how fun right!? NOT! actually it's not that bad, some of the busy-ness i put on myself with clubs and working out and running and such.

I am officially part of D2BH(Dreams to be Heard) this is a organization that focuses on helping out undocumented people focusing on the youth and raising awareness as well as taking action. It's an organization at my campus which is also part of what I believe is called the DREAM coalition network. Basically we are activist that are trying to promote change through various means and get this dream act and just immigration reform act passed as soon as possible. I am very excited about this club the people in it seem very cool and I feel they actually understand me as they are facing the same obstacles I face.

Also I am part of some other organizations around campus, one of them the Bio club we gave out eye exams and helped kids pick out glasses last weekend I believe I might have already mentioned this but I can't recall anyways that's part of the busy side of what is going on.

On the other side school is getting a little more intense I had my first major study day I guess you could say where I got about 3 hours of sleep that day. Had a few exams nothing to major did well I believe. So yeah that's school never fun.

Trying to get into research soon probably starting next semester let's see how that goes...

Attended this soccer informational session today, basically tryout for our school's soccer team are in about two weeks! I love soccer so I am going to tryout however I am really doubting whether that's a good idea I am already super busy so it's iffy. Anyways chances of making it are slim almost no one ever makes it as a walk-on(2people within the last 3 years have made it) and there are about 30 or so trying out this time around. Well wish me luck! Honestly I think I am good enough hopefully the coaches are able to see it. Just getting in shape lately and everything.

On another note I was not planning to come home this weekend but I decided to come home. Had to do some damage control here back home with the girlfriend and friends stuff.. I think today went pretty well(or at least as well as it could). And tomorrow I will head back home in the afternoon once I hang out here and talk to some people for a while.

I think that is about it, summarized it down as best as I could.
Leave some comments peeps! comments always make me feel good :P

Peace

holy cow

2009-01-31T22:56:00.000-08:00

Last night was crazy....

One of my friends experienced her 1st ever puke-fest due to alcohol in her life it was pretty darn scary. It was intense she looked really bad but a few 13 hours of sleep or so helped her out. Man it was wack, the night involved us mainly playing rock band at this one guys place that I had never met but he was my friends friend so it was cool. Then I won 200 bucks which is freaking amazing! Money, money, money!

ended up heading back to my place with my roommate and a friend at around 5AM and fell asleep pretty fast. Then woke up at about 10:00 or so to do homework of all things. I did that for about 8 hours and then finally finished(I officially hate chemistry). And since then have been trying to find something to do. Me and my roommate took a trip down to a music store to play around on the drums and guitars but when we got there it was closing, bad timing.

Alright well I'm spent, need some actual sleep for a change.

Check this link down below it's short but it really gets the point across.

peace

http://dreamactivist.org/2009/01/31/my-heroes-are-illegal-immigrants/

Have you ever

2009-01-29T19:19:00.000-08:00

Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but just couldn't?

Have you ever held a secret that runs your whole life? But just could not tell anyone?

That's how I feel right now. I have rarely told anyone about me being undocumented. Until about a year ago only my family knew. This past year I told my best friend and my girlfriend. Believe me it was one of the hardest things that I have ever done. My whole life I've kept it a secret to protect myself and my family, making up excuses as to why I don't drive, why I did'nt go to the movies when my friends watched an R rated movie, why I won't go clubing with them, why I don't work, and many more. It feels horrible to lie to my best friends all the time. But I've done this my whole life out of fear.

Right now In college it's getting really hard to keep a secret from my close friends and my roomate. I am debating weather I should tell my roomate and one of my best friends here at college. See back home I have two people that know and are very understanding and it helps me out a lot.

But here at college no one knows that I deal with this. I have no one to talk to about it and sometimes I just need someone to talk to. Maybe thats why I write about this so much on my blog it's where I come to vent my frustrations(sorry that you have to put up with it!). So should I tell my roomate and my friend here? Me and my roomate are pretty close and I've had his back in some situations that we've encountered but I'm still not sure if I should tell them. It would take a huge load of my back yet it's still such a hard thing to do.

Hmmmmm.....

What to do?????

Has something similar ever happened to you?

To my few, very few, extremely few readers...

2009-01-29T11:51:00.000-08:00

What do you think about the new layout?!!!
Keep it? or go back to the old one?

Damn...

2009-01-28T23:28:00.000-08:00

Busy day.....
Been getting very little sleep.
I'm sick! And I basically never get sick :/
Along with some other personal stuff, I need a break!

On a good note I'm excited for the next few weeks, I'm in some new clubs and organizations that seem pretty chill.

So overall looking good. I'm going to hit the sack for some much needed sleep :D

Peace!

Sometimes I can't help but wonder

2009-01-27T00:13:00.001-08:00

Sometimes I can't help but wonder if it's all worth it...

Should I try so hard in school, should I try soooo damn hard... Should i even try at all... Should I pretend like everything is going to one day fix itself. Because giving up just seems so damn easy...

Everything tells me to give up. Why do i try so hard at school when med-school is unrealistic for me. Med-schools don't accept illegals. Med-school is way to expensive and I can't take out loans. It seems like I should just give up...

Hmmmmm.....

Fuck, I'm so stupid for trying. But that's all I've done my whole life. I've always tried. I have always given everything till I can't give no more. Ever since I was little in everything sports, life, family, etc. So I guess that's what I am doing now, I am trying and I am trying so damn hard because even though quiting seems so easy, I just simply do not know how to quit.

I will not let my life be the one of a quitter. I've promised to myself that I will never look back on my life and regret not trying.

Peace

Soooo

2009-01-26T15:21:00.000-08:00

Me and my roommate decided last night that we are going to go to class drunk at some point this semester it's going to be tight!
okay well I'm not sure if this will actually happen but it'd be a hella good story to tell afterwards, on the other hand I could probably get kicked out of the school so it's a tough choice...

Class was pretty cool today, I think I am going to enjoy the class this semester, honestly I think I will have more work from my labs which are like one or two credits than I will from my actual classes that are around 3 or 4 credits.

Well fools nothing much happening yet, the next few weeks are sure to be fun all the club and frat meeting are coming up I'll keep whoever reads this posted!

peace

Hey fooools!

2009-01-24T12:22:00.000-08:00

So I'm back home now, I should really get to doing some school-work but ehhhhhh.... Not feeling it yet so I'll leave that for later. I've been trying to contact one of my professors from last semester but he hasn't responded. I'm just curious as to why he gave me a stupid A-. If it wasn't for him I would have a 4.0 but instead I have a 3.9! Urggggggg. Anyways 3.9 isn't that bad but t0 get into medical school any grade points you can get are important.

Also take a look at this video it gave me hope:

No Way!

2009-01-23T14:43:00.001-08:00

I got a comment! actually even better I got two comments!! And they were both from my favorite blogger! Yes!

I know, I know I'm such a dork....

So yesterday I hung out with some friends it was pretty intense, We got wasted! Ha ha alright well I think I'm feeling a little better now which is good because this morning my head felt like poopy poop.

On another note I'm heading back home for the weekend and it just got me thinking, what if I wasn't illegal? I wouldn't be sitting here waiting for my dad to come pick me up. I could just drive there...

Honestly the whole driving thing is probably the worst thing about being illegal, there are other things as well but driving seems like such an essential necessity for so many people that they take for granted and it's something that I just simply can not do. Well that was just a thought, I will see you peeps later.

Peace

New Look

2009-01-22T20:32:00.000-08:00

watcha think??
I'm new to blogging so that's about as good as it's going to be until I get more used to the layouts and stuff like that. Well I think it looks mighty fly if you ask me!

Peace

What the hell

2009-01-22T20:01:00.000-08:00

School started!
My first week is over and it was great, I really enjoyed most of it and the people in my classes seem really cool. Except for today when I fell asleep in biology class, the rest of school was pretty interesting. I got to use a microscope which I'm not certain of but I can't remember ever using one before so i was a microscope-virgin! But no more fella's!

Anyways, I am trying to get involved in school more this semester hopefully it works out. I found a pre-health fraternity which looks really cool and some clubs that I think could work out well for me this semester. On a side not my english teacher is a two-hundred year old lady who can barely walk. Honestly, we spend about 80% of our time in that class waiting for her to pass out papers, for some reason she wants us to pass the papers in horizontal rows instead of the traditional vertical method.... However she always ends up missing the last few people on the end of the row so she walks aaaaalllllllllllll the way over to the other side of the room and hands the remaining papers individually. Now, this can take quite a while remember she is about two-hundred so walking all the way across the room can be qute a difficult task for her. All in all that class seems like it's going to be pretty fun, it's just funny how all the girls think our teacher is just so darn cute.

So there you have it one week down, a buttload to go.

On another note, I thought once you left highschool drama would'nt be everywhere but i guess I was wrong stupid college friends causing themselves so much drama and I just stay out of it I try not picking sides but eventually I think I might have to. Oh well, we will deal with that when the time comes but for now I'm out peeeeps.

P.S if you happen to stumble across my blog just drop a comment or something, you know, so I feel like at least someone kind of might care what I have to say you know? Seriously one lousy comment cant hurt! laters!

Peace

Crap!!!!

2009-01-19T22:52:00.000-08:00

By crap i mean literally crap! Okay well not to mention that this could possibly be the worst timing imaginable (I start school tomorow morning) I will give you guys a slight idea of my predicament.

So here at college I am known by some friends to have a unique talent in preparing a mexican styled spicy chip mix(basically all it really contains is tostitos, lots of limes and a insane amount of tapatio sauce). So me and my roomate had bought the supplies earlier today and were getting ready for tonight, but i still had a few hours before i needed to begin preparing the all coveted spicynes which we all have come to love. So i headed off to the gym for a while, when i got back a prepared myself a protein shake. So everything seems good so far right? Well this protein shake has been known to give me an upset stomach from time to time(Nothing major however). Well lets just say that I learned something today. Protein drinks and spicy tapatio sauce chips do not mix well.... I learned it the hard way.

The outcome: After some brief stints in the bathroom and the ocasional gas leak I foolishly believed that it would pass by, emphasis on foolishly. Well lets just say it got so bad that me and my roomate had to go to target to get some febreeze! But to add to the irony target was closed! So we headed back to out room and after about a minute my roomate had to leave to go find an open place that sold febreeze.

So this has all led me to this moment, one of the proudest moments in my life. I sit here in front of this compter sitting on the same place I have been sitting at for the past 40minutes. On the toilet, truly a moment i will look back on, with nothing but pride....

Crap!

peace

1 more day!!!

2009-01-19T16:48:00.001-08:00

I left home yesterday to come back to college!!! It was pretty fun needed to get away for a little and just hung out with my roomate and his family and then later on just spent the night with some friends.

And guess what??? I start school tomorow!!! It's kind of wierd but I am actually excited about school. Looking foward to meeting new people, and just living college life you know? Well thats about it for now. I wonder if anyone has actually read my blog yet.......

well peace, cya soon

Here we go again....

2009-01-16T00:03:00.000-08:00

My second semester of college is about to start and I really have no idea what to expect. I'm going to take on a heavy workload much more than last semester i really hope my grades dont suffer. As a pre-med i need to maintain very high grades, an A- actually brings down my GPA!!! so that blows.... All i have to say to that is pooooooooooooop..... anyways on a brighter note i kind of am excited to go back for my second semester and see my college friends again. Although im pretty sure after a little while il just miss home, mostly my friends and girlfriend here back home. Hmmmmm well now that thats been said i still cant help but think about the cop incident everyday(the post before this one). Not that i obsess over it or its a big deal in my life but seriously danggg my life as i know it could be over!

Anyways enough of that. On another note now that I am going away starts another uphill battle, and look i understand that many people that read this are going to think im a pussy and shit, but if thats the case then oh well. What i am trying to get at is that, well I have a girlfriend and she's back home and i live at college like half an hour away right? Well people may not realize this but this gets pretty though, for most people it would'nt even be a big deal its not that far right? But you see, i am illegal therefore i do not and can not drive. So basically while i am in college I only see her during weekends when i come home. Well honestly this gets pretty though sometimes. Just think about it, do you think it would be though? Well i know it sounds like I am complaining but really I'm not... haha actually who the hell am i kidding , yeah complaining and efffff me being illegal haha. Ya honestly even though its hard its very much worth it so really I can't comlain you know? In the end she's worth it so we just deal with this... Well here it goes again another semester... another series of all nighters getting ready for midterms and finals... another series of crazy party weekends... another series of events in my life... and another semester where I could be deported and loose my life as we know it... another semester of barely getting through college because of lack of money and no banks willing to loan money to illegals like me... another semester of going to bed everynight hoping that maybe, just maybe someone will somehow, someday pass a law to let me have a normal life.

Reflect on that

peace

Cop Incident, peed my pants(almost)

2009-01-08T00:40:00.000-08:00

I just got home, having a few minutes ago experienced one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. Lets start off by telling everyone that I have never been arrested or in trouble with the law in any way shape or form. However today I was hanging out with some friends at one of my best friends house and I was on my way back home with a friend (he was driving, I am an illegal immigrant so I cant legally drive). It got a bit late around midnight and my friend was just going to drop me off in what would be a three to five minute drive at most.

Well a cop car all of a sudden decides to pull us over!!!! He pulls us over and asks for my friends licence and registration... nothing major right? Well my friend has everything in order which is fine so it appears the cop is content, but then the officer decides to asks me and my friend for our ages. My friend is eight-teen his age is verified by his drivers licence. But when he asks for identification to verify my age i simply do not have any. I dont have a drivers licence because i am not legally allowed to, due to the fact that I am an illegal immigrant. I dont have a California ID because i cant get one due to my legal status as well. So i sit there telling him i dont have any right? What else could i do? He seems mad and then proceeds to walk around the car to the passanger side where I am seated. He asks me if I have any dangerous things in my possesion. I answer no, and then as if me already being on the officers bad side wasn't enough he takes a peek in the back seat and there lays this odd looking drinking hat!(Now to explain what this hat looks like for those who have never seen one, its like a contructors helmet with cup/bottle holders on the side and two flexible tubes/straws to drink from). The police officer then thought that maybe we had alcohol or something when really the hat was a belated christmas present my friend had recieved that day and alcohol was not inteded to go in it or anything he just thought it was a cool gimic to have you know?

Well by now the officer is most definetly not in a good mood(and by this what i really mean is it looks like he has a stick up his ass or something), he asks me to step out and tells me to put my hands behind my back. All the meanwhile I am terrified I start thinking, what if he finds out I am illegal then I could get deported, what about my family and education? He takes me to the back of the police car and asks me to have a seat all the meanwhile I am freaking out!(Have you ever heard people say they peed in their pants? Well I alway thought that was supposed to be like a methaphor but now I realize I was gravely mistaken, really I was seriously about to pee my pants) He then goes and talks to my friends for a bit and everything seems fine with my friend. He then comes back to the cop car and starts questioning me. He starts asking me why I dont have ID or drivers licence and I bullshit my way out of it pretty nicely. He goes through my wallet and see's my college ID so that helps and asks me about what I am studying and such. He doesnt really appear to believe me and then he asks me for my birthday and full name and enters some information in his little computer device. Well im not sure what came up im guessing nothing because I dont have a social security number so im thinking to myself I am most definitely fucked! Well he then proceeds to let me out of the car and tells me I am good to go. He explains that he had suspicions I was lying about my age and since it was late if I was indeed under eight-teen years of age I would be violating curfew laws. So basically he stopped us because my friends licence plate was on kind of sideways which led to the rest. As I head back to my friends car and get in, I feel the biggest relief of my life. We drive away and my friend tells me that while I was in the cop car and the officer was talking to him, the officer asked him if Iwas lying about my age, and if he didnt tell the truth the officer would take his car away. My friend however knew I was over eight-teen so it was alright, I think if it was not for that, the police officer would have not believed me and I would have been in some deep shit!(I mean deep! like I would drown in shit that deep!).

And now I am home writting this, after an incident that could have totally changed my life, my families life and my future. You see people getting pulled over is not a big deal for most people but for me it can be a determining factor for the rest of my life, I was lucky enough that this did not lead to anything more serious, maybe if it were a different police officer I would not be writting this.. maybe I would be in a jail cell... or maybe Iwould be on my way to mexico... And my life as I know would completely change, all my dreams, goals and aspirations over.

Reflect on that....

Peace

1st post!!!!!

2009-01-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

Nooooo way!!!

well hopefully im not writting this in vain, maybe someday someone will actually read my blog and i wont feel like such a fool writting this blog for no reason.

Anyways, this blog is not intended to be one of the many meaningless, absurd, good for nothing type of blogs(although more than likely many of my post will be totally random and have no purpose what so ever other than kepping me entertained when i have nothing better to do) I will try to incorporate some meaning behing most of my post. This blog will hopefully not only serve as a fun read but also as an educational tool to a world that most people are ignorant towards. That world ladies and gentleman is the world i live in. Maybe, just maybe through this blog people can become informed of the struggles an illegal immigrant college student like me has to deal with. Now i understand those of you reading this probably think i am one of those little emo kids that complains about everything(not true by the way) but i will let you the reader decide. Look honestly my life is amazing, i love my life and i truly do enjoy life to its fullest. However i have faced many roadblocks in this little game called life. Many of those roadblocks, particualry the most detrimental and biggest roadblocks in my life have to do in one way or another to me being an illegal immigrant. I know many people will disagree with my opinions(particularly the republicants) but understand that it is my opinion, i know that there are others like me out there in very similar situations and i hope to hear your stories and how you managed to suceed through this adversity that just about everyone is unaware of. Okay well thats enough of me complaining or what not but down below i wrote down some basic descriptions of me, my aspirations, and such. If you are still reading this then might as well read those i mean what the heck you already wasted the last five minutes of your life reading this, whats another two or three minutes heh?? later i will post more about what i have previously talked about along with any other random thoughts that pop into my head(which by the way are many) or funny anecdote or experience(Again im a college freshman so many of these anecdotes may involve me making a total fool out of my self).

Me:

-Born in Mexico

-Have lived most of my life in the US as an illegal immigrant

-I believe the U.S.A is my country(although it tells me otherwise)

-I love soccer

-I like racing(track, cross country, etc)

-I like going to the gym

-Im obsessed with sports

-I am a college freshman about to start my second semester

-I live somewhere in California

-My goal is to get accepted into medical school which by the way is harder than people think(not to mention the fact that almost all medical schools do not accept illegal immigrants)

So basically i am not sure what the hell my future is going to bring....

peace