shit

I always forget about this thing!

I always see random things and I say oh I am going to write about that on my blog! And of course I forget five minutes later.

Pretty much just been going about my life, I have not been going out and partying as much lately. Sometimes the party scene just seems a bit fake to me, do you guys know what I mean? I'm not going to lie I have lot's of fun when I go out and party but it's just lately felt unnecessary. I have to much to worry about, trying to get scholarships to pay for school, trying to research about schools outside of the U.S. to apply to for next year so I can leave this place. Keeping my grades up, and organizing my club in events and things of that nature in support of the DREAM ACT.

And now I have finals coming up soon so I will pretty much have no life for the next three weeks. Seriously finals is the time when I get on average three hours of sleep at night, I think I over study but I feel I need to do that to feel okay about myself if I don't get the grade I want. This semester I have definitely slacked off getting sidetrack with other things so I really need to buckle down during finals.

I have a paper I am writing on health care reform here in the U.S. and it just brings to light so many inadequacies about this country. It just makes me think why have I wanted to stay in this country for so long? I mean for the longest time I would feel that having less opportunities and everything that goes along with being undocumented is worth it as long as I get to stay here in the U.S. I believe it's because the people and relationships I made here that made me feel weirdly attached to this country. However now that I have matured some I am able to see that honestly most of the friends and relationships you make through your life with people are forgotten about and it is only really a select few who are going to stay there and maintain that long lasting connection with you. How it is determined who stays in your life and who leaves is a mystery. Maybe now that I have started to reflect on this is why I have felt a sort of animosity towards the party scene, it feels fake. I won't ever talk to most of the people I see at parties ever again and the ones that I will it will only be till we leave college and then it's over. Il never see them again, its only the people I am really close with that will really be there till the end. I am thankful to have the best friend anyone could ever ask for, seriously were like brothers and some other really really good friends that will be there till the end, but even if I move away they will still be there because that's who they are. While the people I was scared to leave, I will eventually leave anyways.

Everything I just said probably makes absolutely no sense so you can completely disregard my attempt to sound philosophically intelligent. I really am just a real weirdo. I mean seriously why the hell am I even writing here, it's not like anyone is going to read it right? Sometimes we do things for no reason what so ever it baffles me, why is this?

Anyways I am going to spare you guys any more misery and just stop talking, before you leave though check this guy out, I found this hilarious yet very educational.